Father and son always fight right? Let us say yes: at least once a child has raised his voice to his father. Fights between father and son are more common in adolescence, a time in which some young people complain about the authority of parents, and some others complain about their permissiveness. Several scholars have tried to explain this phenomenon. Some say father and son fight as a demonstration of virility: perhaps that happens not only in the literal sense of the word, but some also fight to show who is right. Carlos Drummond de Andrade is an example of a son who did not get along with his father. Drummond only graduated in pharmacy to give the diploma to his father, since he was forced to study in college. Drummond demonstrates his fear and his parents’ severity in the verses of "Noturno:" (the poem was translated by me, as no published translation was found):
“(…)
Que noite mais comprida desde que nasci.
Viajando parado. O escuro me leva
sem nunca chegar. Sem pedir abença
como vou saber que não vou sozinho?
Que o mundo está vivo? Abença papai,
abença mamãe. Mas falta coragem
e peço pra dentro. Dentro não responde.”
"(...)
The longest night since I was born.
Traveling stopped. The darkness takes me
never arriving. Without asking the blessing
how will I know I am not alone?
That the world is alive? Bless me father,
bless me mother. But I lack courage
and I ask quietly. They do not respond. "
But can father and son live harmoniously? The answer is obvious and the formula is simple:
For a good parent-child relationship, both must have:
1. Unconditional Love (father and son should love one another even if one does not do what pleases the other, and even if one disappoints the other. Love in the family is not something disposable);
2. Maturity (Years after the death of Drummond’s father, the poet said he did not agree with the attitudes of his father, but he understood them. Maturity is directly related to understanding. If both sides are mature, or at least they respect the differences, the relationship will be healthy).
Simple, isn’t it? In fact, for many, these two points are difficult to keep up with. But if it were easy, how fun would it be?
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